Coffee Break

Yesterday morning, Miss Manners addressed an etiquette problem of overwhelming importance: to wit -coffee shop manners. A reader wrote to ask Judith Martin:

Is there a polite way to ask someone who is not a coffee-shop customer to vacate their table and make way for the people who are customers?

More specifically, Miss Irritable is annoyed that when she visits a coffee shop at a bookstore that also has a coffee shop, she often can’t find a table there because other customers are “hogging” them while they read a book, do their homework, play a game or talk to people at other tables. And, she complains, management seems “oblivious to the problem”.

I’d venture to guess that the reason management is oblivious to the problem is that management doesn’t consider it a problem. In every congenial coffee shop I’ve ever patronized, the management goes out of its way to encourage that sort of communal community gathering spot feeling, to the extent of maintaining a bookshelf and a game cabinet for their patrons and making free wifi available for their use. Management is well aware that their best customers are those that hang out, play games, do homework, read books and chat with the folks at other tables. The most stringent rules about “hogging” tables I’ve ever seen are “please buy a coffee if you’re going to hang out here” and “don’t sit alone at a table for eight”.

Still, there are things you can do that will annoy the management - or endear you to their hearts. Here’s a quick rundown of “coffee shop manners” to help you become one of the coffee shop’s best-loved customers.

1. Buy something about once an hour. If you’re going to occupy a table for more than an hour, pay for your table space by buying another coffee every hour or so. If you’re there for more than a couple of hours, add a sandwich or a dessert. Don’t tie up the table for hours while nursing a single coffee.
2. If you’re alone, use a small table. Leave the big tables for larger groups that will spend more money.
3. If you need to plug in your laptop, please, please please choose a table near the outlet. Don’t run your cord halfway across the cafe to reach it!
4. Turn down the sound on your laptop or use earbuds. You may love your Metal Mix, but if it clashes horribly with the barista’s choice of playlist, she’s going to let you know.
5. If the cafe is crowded, share your table. You don’t have to share your company if you don’t want to, but it’s polite to “obviously” make room for someone who is searching for a seat by moving your belongings, or catching their eye and nodding toward a chair. If you’re not shy, you can even use your voice.

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